Hormones FTW?

This is merely a vent. So, feel free to just NOT read this.

So college apps are winding down. I've come to a decision, I'M LEAVING LA. All of the places where I'm considering going to are 2 hours or MORE away from LA. I even have colleges in the East Coast to consider. It's for my own good. As much as I want to stay here with the comforts of home and the convenience of everything, I don't want to be here anymore. I need a change of scenery. I need a change of everyday faces. I need to be somewhere where I can grow. I can't grow here. I'm being held back waaaay more than you think. I'm sick of not being able to do what I want for once. Some of you may disagree with me because I always seem busy doing something. I'm doing that on purpose to keep me from falling into this depressive state that I've been fighting for THEE longest time. I hate feeling like I'm being judged 24/7, especially here. It's expected from an environment like this but seriously, I'm starting to hate it. Honestly, I'm just being really bitter about the situations I'm in. However, I need to start fresh but, not completely to the point where I totally loose touch with my friends and family I have here. I still want to be able to come back, reunite with saying that "It's Been WAY Too Long!" THAT'S WHAT I WANT. If that doesn't happen, so help me Gawd.

Another thing, people think I'm being inconsiderate due to the fact that I want to move away. Some may say that it'll cost too much. That's where they're wrong. I've been one step ahead of this whole college thing for the last four months. I've got three scholarships in the bag. I've got a part time job lined up and another for the summer. How dare I leave the financial responsibilities on my parents? That's being way to selfish and I know better. SO for those who say that moving away is a bad idea, SUCK IT.

Speaking of responsibilities, I've put waaay too much responsibility on myself over the last year and a half. It's been so overwhelming that I don't know how to handle the work load I have anymore. For now though, I'm going to have to tough it through. If you think I regret doing any of this, you thought wrong. I don't regret anything that I've done because there has been a fair share of fun and excitement from it. It's just hard to balance my time.

Ahhh, it's okay. I only have a couple of months left before deciding where I'm going and what I'm doing.

Until then.

Fin.